ON RELIGION - ESSAY BY KHUSHWANT SINGH

AN ESSAY FROM THE BOOK “WHY I SUPPORTED EMERGENCY”  :: Essays and Profiles

“ON RELIGION”    By KHUSHWANT SINGH
Have you seen God? No, I have not. Nor do I believe that anyone, at any time, past or present, has seen Him. As for me, even if I come face to face with Him, I would not recognize him. Were He to give me His visiting card and say, `I am God', I would say in utter disbelief, `Tell me another'.

However, there have been, and are today, people who claim to have seen Him and can give graphic descriptions of Him. I am not talking of people who give airy-fairy answers like, `God is everywhere; you only have to have eyes to see him', or as is more common now, `God is within you'. No X-ray of the human body shows the presence of anything resembling God. `God is truth; God is love,' say many others, as did Bapu Gandhi. I do not know what truth and love look like-one is a principle of social behaviour, the other an emotion.



In our country most people believe in gods taking human form. There is, of course, the trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh (creator, preserver and destroyer), but that is more of a concept of divinity than people who are visible. To many Hindus, Rama was, and is, God. To others it is Krishna. Many believe Satya Sai Baba is God incarnate; others believe Osho was bhagwan. All were and are mortals, some have gone, others are on their way out. Yet everyone insists that God is immortal. I am baffled.

For whatever they're worth, some people have given vivid descriptions of what God looks like. He is invariably portrayed as a patriarch with a flowing snow-white beard, in His sixties or seventies. Did He age over the years or was He always an old 210 - man? Perhaps by depicting Him as old the artist meant to convey wisdom and experience.

Some of the Old Testament prophets claimed to have seen God. Ezekiel describes Him thus: `Above the firmament that was over their heads was the likeness of a throne, as the appearance of a sapphire stone: and upon the likeness of the throne was the likeness as the appearance of a man above upon it. And I saw as the colour of amber, as the appearance of fire round about within it . . . and it had brightness round about. As the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud in the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness round about. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord.'

Daniel added his own description: `The Ancient of days did sit, whose garment was white as snow, and the hair of his head like the pure wool: his throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire.' The poet-painter, William Blake, painted God as the venerable father of humanity.

Our sacred scriptures do not venture to depict God. Even Krishna's self-portrait in the Gita, extolling His omniscience and omnipotence, does not describe His physical features. The one thing that all descriptions of divinity have in common is light at its most dazzling.

There is also a charming description of God in Bhai Bula's Janamsakhi (life story) of Guru Nanak, which scholars have spurned as spurious and written much after the guru. It describes God as a long-bearded old man draped in white clothes, sitting on an ornate charpoy, and surrounded by fat buffaloes bursting with milk-a peasant's concept of a rich Punjabi zamindar.

Right from the time life began on earth people have been asking themselves who or what made us, what was His, Her or Its purpose, where do we go, when do we die. Nobody has yet been able to give satisfactory answers to these questions. It seems no one will ever be able to do so. All we have are assertions about a God who one fine day decided to create life, gave different creatures different names, different spans of life and then made

 

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them disappear for ever. At first they conjectured that the elements that created life-the sun, rain, earth, air, etc.-were their creator's and therefore worthy of worship. They raised temples in their honour. Sometime later people thought there must be hundreds of thousands of creators who looked after different aspects of life; others argued there should be one creator. They called it God. Still later came philosophers and prophets. Philosophers speculated on the origin and purpose of life; Prophets asserted they knew the ultimate truth. In the Middle East we had Zoroaster, Abraham and Moses, Jesus Christ and Mohammed. Then: followers banded themselves into separate groups and sought to impose their views on others. In India we had Mahavir and Gautam the Buddha. Neither really accepted the existence of a God but laid down norms of societal behaviour and acquired large followings. Their predominance was challenged by Adi Shankara who was able to re-establish Hindu predominance.

Different religions, though they preached love and brotherhood of mankind, fought wars against each other. In India the inroads made by non-Indian religions like Christianity and Islam posed serious challenges to the caste-ossified Hindu society. These challenges were met in battlefields as well as in attempts to come to an understanding between each other. From the Hindu side they were the Bhaktas (notably Kabir and Nanak); from the Muslim, Sufis, notably Farid, Muinuddin and Nizamuddin of the Chishtia order. The process of coming to an understanding between contending faiths has continued.

Perhaps the most quoted lines to prove that Islam accepts the validity of other faiths is: `To you your faith, to me mine.' Nevertheless it cannot be denied that the two religions most engaged in converting other people to their beliefs are Islam and' Christianity.

They assume they have more viable answers to vital questions­the existence of the Creator, the purpose of life, the codes of conduct to be observed towards our fellow creatures, life after death if there is any-than other religions. Whether or not this is so remains to be established.

 

 

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At some time or the other in their lives, all humans ask themselves these questions. Most often it happens when they lie on their backs on moonless nights gazing at the countless stars that stretch across the black sky. `Where have they come from?' they ask. `Where have I come from?'

Most often it is people who live in deserts, undisturbed by electric lights and city noises, and sleep in the open under the deafening silence of the stars, whose minds are triggered off to ponder over these problems. That is why so many of the prophets were people of deserts or waste lands.

All Semitic religions believe that God is one: so do Sikhs and Arya Samajis. Most Hindus believe in the multiplicity of gods and goddesses but give the trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva supreme status; Jains and Buddhists discard belief in God.

Most religions that subscribe to God make Him the creator, preserver and destroyer of life. They also believe in life after death-either in the form of the day of judgment or as rebirth. However, though Islam preaches belief in one God and in the day of judgment, Muslim poets do not hesitate to express their disbelief in either the genesis of life or in the day of judgment. To quote Omar Khayyam:

Into this world and why not knowing And like water willy-nilly flowing.

He admitted that he did not understand the mystery of life and death:

There was a door to which I found no key, There was a veil beyond which I could not see; Talk awhile of thee and me there was

Then no more of thee or me.

Ghalib, Zauq and other Urdu poets expressed similar beliefs. Azim Jahanabadi put it succinctly-Na ibtada ki khabar hai, na intihaa maaloom-we know not the beginning, we know not the end.

 

 

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Although we have to concede that if the earth exists, somebody or some force must have created it and maintains it for whatever it is worth. As Voltaire said, if there is a watch, there must be a watchmaker. The analogy is misleading because while we can trace the watchmaker, the world-maker remains as elusive as ever. To wit:

Tu dil mein to aata hai Samajh mein nahin aata; Bas jaan gayaa yehi hai pehechaan teri. (The heart believes You are there The brain does not comprehend You; That perhaps is the only way of knowing You.)

Why not be honest and admit we don't know whether God exists or not?

Epicurus (circa 300 BC) was a Greek philosopher who denied the existence of God and emphasized that since we do not know why we were born, for what purpose and know nothing about what would happen to us after we die, we should enjoy life as best as we can. Epicureanism was later summed up as a motto: eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die. It is also known as hedonism, the philosophy of good living.

We have been very unfair to Epicurus by equating his beliefs with an amoral way of living. In rejecting the existence of God, he made a series of assertions, for which I cannot find the answers. All God-believers (theists) affirm that the world was created by God (exactly when, we do not know), that He is omnipotent (sarvshaktimaan) as well as merciful (raheem), just (aadil) and has compassion (karuna). Epicurus argues as follows:

If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to Then He is not omnipotent.

If He is, but not willing Then He is malevolent.

If He is both able and willing Then whence cometh evil?

If He is neither able nor willing Then why call Him God?

The logic cannot be refuted. But it leaves an important question unanswered: What is the entire world about-the earth, sun, moon, stars, seas, mountains, humans and beasts? I admit I don't know and hence call myself an agnostic. I reject theism as well as atheism which answers this question with either a positive `yes' or a positive `no'.

India has a long and hallowed tradition of questioning the, existence of God. Debiprasad C;hattopadhyayay's Indian Atheism: A Marxist Analysis traces the questioning back to 6 century BC when Charvaka questioned both the existence of God and the sanctity of the Vedas. Later, Indian atheists questioned the Upanishads as well. Jainism and Buddhism put more emphasis on right thinking and right conduct than on the existence of God. It was evidently a society that was more open-minded and able to accept criticism than ours is today.

Since I have often questioned the existence of an omniscient (all-knowing), omnipotent (all-powerful), just and merciful God, I get a lot of letters from believers who denounce me as an ignorant, self-opinionated man ever bent on mischief-making and provoking controversy. They quote religious texts, founders of religions, savants and scholars' theology to me. Most of these letters are in the form of assertions without reasons to back them up. I pity and envy them for having a blind faith that God exists.

Some time ago I received a longish article on the subject from T. Gopal Iyengar of Hyderabad. It made a lot of sense to me. He was logical, lucid and examined the subject from different angles. He spelt out his doubts and wrote to the sankaracharya of Kanchi and the head of the Ramakrishna Muth in Belur. From both of them he received terse replies brushing aside his queries and advising him to read this or that. Evidently they did not have the answers.

Iyengar starts by asserting that we are nurtured on religious beliefs from day one as we start imbibing our mother's milk.

 

 

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By the time we are old enough to think for ourselves, we are thoroughly brainwashed into accepting the existence of God and are incapable of questioning it. The very few who ponder over the matter try to define God. How do you define someone or something you can't see, hear, touch or smell? Nevertheless the feeling persists that there must be someone or some power that created the earth and life on it, and then takes it away, we know not where.

Two distinct approaches to the problem of defining God are available; the Hindic comprising Jain, Buddhist, Hindu and Sikh, and the Judaic (Jewish, Christian and Muslim). A good example of the Hindic approach is in the Vishnu Purana: `O! Who can describe him who is not to be apprehended by the senses; who is the best of all things and the Supreme Soul, self-existent, who is devoid of all distinguishing characteristics of complexion, caste or the like, and is exempt from birth, vicissitude, death or decay; who is always alone; who exists everywhere and in whom all things here exist; and who is thence named Vasudev-the resplendent one in whom all things dwell.'

Right from the Vedic times to the advent of Sikhism, the pattern of the definition of God, with minor variations, has been the same. It should be noted that in none of them are justice, benevolence and mercy attributes of God as they are in Judaic religions where benevolence and mercy are important attributes of the Almighty. Indeed, in common Punjabi parlance, God is often described as `vadda beparvaah'-the Great One who could not care less about human suffering.

That makes sense to me. Or how do you explain catastrophes like earthquakes and cyclones that take as heavy a toll on the innocent, upright and the God-fearing as they do on others? Why are so many children born blind, retarded or stricken with cancer? When there is so much injustice and cruelty in the world,. why does the Almighty God not punish tyrants and the corrupt? Explanations like `paying for deeds done in past lives' or

 

 

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`punishments to be meted out in lives to come' have no provable rational basis and should be rejected.

So what is the answer? Iyengar does not give one. But from the way he argues I am inclined to conclude that we do not know whether or not God exists or ever existed. I go one step further and hold that his existence or non-existence is of no consequence to human beings.

Why do the innocent suffer? The question was put in different words by a Jewish rabbi whose only child was afflicted by terminal cancer. He and his wife were a god-fearing couple who had never harmed anyone. So why were they being punished by having their son taken away from them? The rabbi wrestled with the problem and put down his thoughts in a highly readable little book, Why Bad Things Happen to Good People. For inspiration he turned to the classic on the subject: the Book of Job in the Bible. I have read the Book of job over and over again because it is beautifully worded but remain totally unconvinced with the arguments set out. Job was a good man without blemish. He was prosperous, had many sons, daughters, daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. Also, land, vineyards and herds of cattle. He was a man of conviction and believed that he owed his good fortune to God. Satan took on a bet with God that if job was deprived of his family and possessions, he would lose his faith in God. Job assured himself, `Whoever perished being innocent? Or where were the upright ever cut off ? Even as I have seen those who plough iniquity and sow trouble reap the same ... God will not cast away the blameless, nor will He uphold the evil-doers.'

Job lost everything: his children, lands, herds of cattle and was himself afflicted with body sores and thrown out of his home. His wife pleaded with him, `Curse God and die.' Three of his friends (Job's comforters) tried to argue him out of his faith. `Man who is born of woman is of few days and full of trouble. He comes forth like a flower and fades away; he flees like a shadow and does not continue.' Job held fast to his faith but longed to present his case to God as his mouth was full of arguments. `Great

 

 

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are not always wise, nor do the aged always understand Justice.' God appeared before job and reminded him that it was He who created everything on earth. He was all-knowing and all-powerful. God won the bet against Satan and job was restored to good health and got back his family and property.

Does an unshakable faith in God really explain why the innocent suffer? Not to me; it is no different from accepting what happens with good grace: Tera bhaanaa meetha la.agey (What You [God] ordain tastes sweet). It does not. More often it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth and in the mind.

The fact of the matter is that we have as little comprehension of why the innocent suffer as we have of why the wicked prosper. Can anyone give rational answers to these questions without resorting to theories about karma, evil deeds committed in previous births, and punishments to come in lives hereafter? They are absolute hogwash, unworthy of consideration by people with serious minds.

One of the most cherished myths that mankind has clung to from time immemorial is that everyone pays for his misdeeds: as you sow, so shall you reap. People cite instances of individuals who acquired wealth by corrupt means, were later brought to book, or were afflicted with some incurable disease or their progeny turned out to be bad. For every such instance of an evil person paying for his sins, I could adduce twenty where they went unpunished. They did not suffer from pangs of guilt, remained in good health, ate well, lived well, enjoyed life and the esteem of their fellow citizens, sent their children to the best schools and colleges and saw them settled in plum jobs, married into rich families which ensured their future prospects. `There is a just man who perishes in his righteousness, and a wicked man who prolongs life in his wickedness,' says the Bible.

When faced with hard evidence that more often evil persons get a.better deal in life than good people, upholders of the myth resort to inane explanations like `honesty is its own reward', `in the end, truth always triumphs'. They have even more devious

explanations when confronted with cases of suffering inflicted on the good and the god-loving such as their children being born blind, mentally deficient or spastic. `It is karma. They are paying for the sins they committed in their past lives.' And they explain the prosperity of evil-doers with `They will surely pay for their sins in their lives to come: may they be reborn as snakes, pigs or vermin'. Such explanations are offered in the assurance that no one knows anything about past lives or the lives to come. As Ghalib said about paradise, I say about past and future lives: `Dil kay behallaney koyeh kha,yaal acchu UP. My friends don't suffer from the delusions that people suffer from for their misdeeds. How many paid the penalty for the crimes they had committed in November 1984? How many were punished for the destruction of the Babri Masjid? Far from being punished, three of them became members of Atal Bihari Vajpayee's cabinet and the man who soured the wind by his mischievously conceived rath yatra from Somnath to Ayodhya and spread the whirlwind of communal violence, which has not abated to this day, is the man-in-waiting to be the next prime minister. Do J. Jayalalithaa and Laloo Prasad Yadav feel guilty for squandering public money on weddings in their families? Do stockbrokers who fiddled with public money to the tune of thousands of crores, Pandit Sukh Ram or Ravi Sidhu, have sleepless nights for what they did?

I don't think so. They must have explanations which give them peace. No, my friends, there is no justice in the world. To succeed in life you have to be the three Cs (or chalakis in Hindi): chaalak (cunning), chaaploos (sycophant) and chaar-sau-bees (a cheat as defined under Section 420 of the Indian Penal Code).

God has no place in Jain theology. Instead, Jains believe in `enlightened' human beings because escape is only possible in human form. Jains also reject the Vedas, the priestly order of the Brahmins and the caste system.

The Jain influence in India is largely due to the comparative affluence of the community. Some of India's biggest industrial houses are Jain-Dalmia, Sarabhai, Walchand, Kasturbhai Lalbhai,

 

 

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Sahu Jain. The proportion of literacy among them is also high. Mahatma Gandhi, who was greatly influenced by the doctrine of ahimsa (non-violence), elevated it from a personal and ethical creed to a programme of national and political policy.

Despite ten years in Delhi's Modern School, an institution founded by the Jain family of Lala Sultan Singh, his son, Raghubir Singh, and currently controlled by Raghubir Singh's son, General Virendra Singh, I knew nothing about the Jain faith. Even in college I had some friends who were Jains, but I never got to know anything about their religious beliefs except that they were strict vegetarians. I also learnt that Mahatma Gandhi was profoundly influenced by Jain tenets, and the Jains were among the richest in our country. Also, their temples are among the most beautiful in India.

It was only in the 'sixties when I had to teach a course in comparative religion at Princeton University and later at Swarthmore College and the University of Hawaii that I read books on Jainism in order to pass on the information to my American students. I was deeply impressed with what I learnt. I admitted if I had to choose a religion to subscribe to, it would be Jainism. It came closest to agnosticism and the code of ethics to which, as a rationalist, I subscribed.

In the 'seventies, when I was the editor of the Illustrated Weekly of India, then the largest and the most influential weekly journal in the country, I wrote to the chief ministers of all the states that if they imposed a blanket ban on shikar in their states in honour of Jain Mahavira, I would give them all the publicity they wanted. Eight chief ministers responded to my appeal and banned killing for sport. I might mention that at the time, the Jains who owned the Times of India group of papers, including the Illustrated Weekly of India, had been deprived of control of the company and it was run by the government. The Jains had nothing to do with my anti-shikar crusade. As a matter of fact, when the Jains regained control of the Times of India group, they sacked me.

The word `jain' is derived from `jina', one who has conquered himself Jains believe that their religious system was evolved by twenty-four tirthankaras (or makers of the river crossing), three of whom, Rhishabha, Ajitnath and Aristanemi, systematized their religious doctrines. Most of the Jain hagiography is legendary. But we do have reliable historical evidence of the existence of Parshvanath (877-777 BC), the twenty-third tirthankara, and Mahavira, the twenty-fourth (599-527 BC). There is reason to believe that in its formative phase, Jainism was a reaction against Brahminical Hindusim.

Vardhamana Mahavira was born in 599 BC in Kundagrama, a town north of Patna. He was the second son of a nobleman and was reared in the lap of luxury. The Jains love to enumerate everything. According to them, the child Mahavira was cared for by five nurses and enjoyed five kinds of joy. When he came of age, he was married and his wife bore him a daughter. But neither his wife, nor his child, nor the affairs of the state occupied his mind. On the death of his parents (according to one version, by suicide), he took the permission of his elder brother to retire to the jungles. He was then thirty years old. For twelve years he fasted and meditated `in a squatting position, with joined heels, exposing himself to the heat of the sun, with knees high and the head low, in deep meditation'. In the midst of abstract meditation, he reached kevala (total) omniscience. He became nirgrantha-without ties or knots.

Mahavira discarded his clothes and spent the next thirty years of his life wandering from place to place. He spoke to no one, never stayed anywhere for more than one night, ate only raw food and strained the water he drank. He allowed vermins to feed on his body and carried a broom to sweep insects away from his path lest he trod on them. People scoffed at him and often tormented him. But he never said anything to them. He died in 527 BC, or, as the Jains put it, at the age of seventy-two, he cut asunder the ties of birth, old age and death.

 

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Everything, animate or inanimate, has jiva (life-force). No one has the right to take another's life. The way of deliverance, said Mahavira, is in the pursuit of three gems (tri-ratans): right faith, right knowledge and right conduct. Right conduct prescribes five principles: sanctity of life (non-violence is the supreme law); truthfulness; respect for property; chastity and abandonment of worldly possessions.

Religions have had a renaissance in the form of belief in. the irrational and kowtowing to superstitions. It is not a subject to be dismissed as a matter of academic irrelevance. What faith can you impose on a party that ruled us for six years and is the most important element in the Opposition-when it changes the entrance to its office from one side to the other because a Vaastu expert advises it that that would bring it better luck? And what do you think of an otherwise acceptable leader who wants the number of the house allotted to him to be changed from number 8 to 6A because the former is inauspicious? Or a Jayalalithaa and a Shobhaa De adding another `a' to their first names because they believe it will improve their fortunes?

People who watch games on their TV sets must have noticed how many players attribute their achievements to God who, they presume, lives up in the clouds. Tendulkar, Ganguly, Dravid, Laxman and other batsmen, as soon as they score fifty, 100, 150 or 200 runs, first take off their helmets to raise their bats in order to acknowledge the cheering of spectators, then look briefly upwards to give thanks to the ooperwala. And this is not only the case with cricket players. Before the start of a hockey match, you will notice rival teams huddle together at either end of the field, put their heads together and say a short prayer for victory. Likewise, tennis players like the Amr.itraj brothers and Leander Paes may be noticed kissing the crucifix they wear around their neck to lend more punch to their services and smashes. I've noticed players of some other nations perform similar gestures in honour of their deities: Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Africans and Latinos. I have never seen Englishmen, Australians, New

Zealanders or white Africans take much notice of the God of Sports. And in one interview in Savaal Aapkey, cricket celebrity Harbhajan Singh parried all the flattering comments hurled at him by attributing his success to bhagwan.

Nor I do think going on a pilgrimage makes one a better person. On my TV set, I've watched pilgrims gather in Jerusalem and Bethlehem, at Bodh Gaya, Prayag and Hardwar, at Mecca and Medina, at Amritsar, Hemkunt and Patna.

I have met people who had been on pilgrimages: they looked very pleased with themselves. But I did not notice any changes for the better in them. If they were prone to lying, cheating backbiting, scandal-mongering, using bad language before they left for their holy cities or rivers, they came back and resumed lying, cheating, backbiting, scandal-mongering and using bad language.

Truly had Guru Nanak spoken: Ath sath teerath nahaaie utrey nahee maeil (You may bathe at the sixty-eight places of pilgrimage, it will not wash the dirt off your body [and mind] ). That does not deter the Guru's followers from doing precisely what he had castigated as a useless practice, or from going to pilgrim centres.

Some years ago, a film called Nanak Naam Jahaaz (the Holy Name is a ship that will take you across the waters of life) was shown in cinemas across northern India. Its theme was a man blinded in an accident visiting gurdwaras all over India. When he came to the sanctum of the temple and restored his vision, hundreds of thousands of people saw the film and were convinced that it was the truth, when in their hearts they knew it was a lie.

The Kumbh Mela at Allahabad is a pilgrimage on a scale grander than any ever seen in the world; as if the entire population of a country the size of Australia was packed into a few square miles of land surrounding the sangam (confluence) of three rivers; two, the Ganga and the Yamuna, are real, the third, Saraswati, mythical. The bandobast required to organize road, rail and air transport, housing, feeding, sanitation and maintaining law and

 

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order boggles the mind. One small mishap and the consequences would be disastrous. Is it worth taking such risks?

The people who go to the mela certainly think so. It is always a never-to-be-forgotten spectacle of sight and sound: thousands of ash-smeared Naga sadhus marching in processions from their ashrams and encampments to plunge into the waters of the Ganga and the Yamuna, hundreds of pandals with saffron-clad swamis chanting mantras or expounding the essential tenets of dharma.

And what about prayer? When I was a child of about four living in a tiny village with my grandmother, she taught me my first prayer. I was scared of the dark and prone to having nightmares. She told me that whenever I was frightened, I should recite the following lines by Guru Arjan:

Taatee vau na laagaee, peer-Brahma saranaee Chowgird hamaarey Raam-kar, dukh lagey na bhaee (No ill-winds touch you, the great Lord your protector be Around you Lord Rama has drawn a protective line. Brother, no harm will come to thee.)

Being young, innocent and having infinite trust in my granny's assurances of the efficacy of these lines, I found they worked like magic. Later, I discovered that most Sikh children were taught the same lines even before they learnt other prayers. The hymn had four more lines:

Satgur poora bhetiya

Jis banat banaaee Raam naam aukhad deeya.

Eka liv laayee Raakh liye tin raakhan har,

 sabh biaadh mitaayee Kaho

Nanak kirpa bhaee, Prabhu bhaye Sahaaee

 

(The true guru was revealed in his fullness, the one who did all create

He gave the name of Rama as medicine, in Him alone I repose my faith.

He saves all who deserve to be saved, He removes all worries of the mind.

Sayeth Nanak, God became my helper, He was kind.)

 

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Mark the Hindu terminology in this short prayer: Peer, Brahma, Raam-kaar, Raam-naam, and Prabhu. As a matter of fact, a painstaking scholar counted the number of times the name of God appears in the Adi Granth. The total comes to around 16,000. Of these over 14,000 are of Hindu origin: Hari, Ram, Govind, Narayan, Krishna, Murari, Madhav, Vithal and so on. There are also a sizeable number of Islamic origin: Allah, Rehman, Rahim, Kareem and so on. The Sikh term `Wahe Guru' appears only sixteen times.

All religions borrow a lot from the others with which'they come into contact; there is not a single religion in the world that has not borrowed some concept or the other from another: some borrow vocabulary and even rituals. In the Judaic family of religions-Judaism, Christianity and Islam-there is plenty of evidence of wholesale borrowing. A good example is Islam. Its monotheism (belief in one god) also exists in Judaism and Christianity. Its five daily prayers have roughly the same names as those of Jews; its greeting `salaam aalaikum' is a variation of the Jewish `shalom alekh'; turning to Mecca for namaaz is based on the Jews turning to Jerusalem; their food inhibitions (regarding pig's meat as unclean; halaal is the same as the Jewish kosher), the custom of circumaizing male children (sunnat) is also Jewish.

There is a lot of emphasis on what one should eat or drink in our religious traditions which has neither logic nor any bearing on health. For some beef is forbidden but pig meat is okay; in others beef is okay but pig meat is haraam (forbidden). Some insist that animals meant to be eaten must be beheaded at one stroke (jhatka); others insist they should be bled to death before they can be certified as edible (halaal). Vegetarians have kitchen fads of their own: some will not eat vegetables like onions, garlic, carrots or radishes because they are polluted by contact with the soil. But even they make an exception in the case of potatoes. How can anyone relish a vegetarian meal without spuds?

A couple of weeks ago I learnt of another eccentricity. The wife and daughter of a senior Bengali IAF officer told me that in

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Bengali homes no chicken or chicken eggs are eaten: they prefer to eat duck and duck eggs. I asked them why? Their answer was amusing. Because, they said, Muslims relish chicken, so Hindus decided that eating chickens was un-Hindu. By that logic Bengali Hindus should be consuming ham and bacon which Muslims abominate.

Among Punjabis the kitchen fads are equally mind-boggling. Though both Hindus and Sikhs strictly abstain from eating beef (the Namdhari sect of Sikhs gained popularity for murdering Muslim cow butchers, and were later blown up by cannons to be acclaimed as martyrs), there is little enthusiasm for eating pig meat. At the most they take pickled pork (achaar), preferably made of wild boar meat. Ham and bacon, introduced to India by the English, can only be seen on the tables of the westernized Punjabis. And far from not eating chicken because it is relished by Muslims, chicken is the non-vegetarian Punjabi's favourite food. Chicken tandoori is the Punjabis' national bird.

Religious people who like to drink do so no matter what their scriptures say against drinking alcohol. On the contrary, taking wine is a part of Catholic and Anglican religious ritual. Only later sects like the Mormons who practice polygamy, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Christian Scientists, the Quakers and the Plymouth Brethren disapproved of imbibing liquor. There are lots of references to the joys of drinking in the Old Testament.

The attitude towards drinking underwent a change with the advent of Islam. Scholars still disagree over whether the Quran forbids it as haraam (unlawful) or only censures it as something undesirable. So drinking in public is forbidden in most Muslim countries except Turkey, Tunisia, Algeria and Egypt which are comparatively westernized. In the more conservative Muslim countries like Sudan, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Bangladesh despite prohibition people manage to get alcohol. A friend who had lived in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia, the most orthodox of all Islamic states, assured me that he had little problem getting his required quota of Scotch and wines.

 

Why I Supported the Emergency: Essays and Profiles 227

The Hindic family of religions-Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism-took a more tolerant view of drinking. Our gods drank somras; on many religious festivals drinking hard liquor or bhang (hashish) is de rigueur. My Sikh friends who disapprove of my drinking quote passages from the Granth Sahib to prove drinking is forbidden by the Sikh faith. Nevertheless, next to the Parsis (Zoroastrianism does not forbid drinking), the Sikhs are the biggest tipplers in India. The strong disapproval of drinking is a later development among certain Hindu reformist movements and was given religious sanction by men like Mahatma Gandhi and Morarji Desai.

The intermingling of faiths is much more in evidence in the Hindic family of religions: Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism. All share a belief in karma, the cycle of birth-death­rebirth, meditation and so on. Needless to say, they also share much of their religious terminology.

Since Sikhism was the last of these major religions to emerge and the only one to come in contact with Islam, it is the only one which, coming in contact with the Bhakti cult, took a lot of the terminology of Islam from the sufi saints. When the thekedars (contractors or purveyors) of religion claim that their faith owes nothing to others and is therefore the purest of the pure, they make me laugh at their ignorance.

But to come back to prayer, I have memorized the principal power mantras of Hindus, Christians, Muslims and Sikhs but have not been able to work out why the followers of these religions endow them with powers above other mantras. It is generally agreed by all Hindus that the Gayatri Mantra is regarded as the most powerful invocation. I have translated it into English and often recited it while half asleep lest it escape my memory. I also know passages from the Gita and the Upanishads by rote which read as well but are relegated to secondary importance because the Gayatri Mantra is the maha-mantra.

If the most popular shabad among Sikhs is the one my grandmother taught me, for Christians, it is the twenty-third psalm:

 

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The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

The two most popular verses of the Koran that appear in Muslim mausoleums, including the Taj Mahal, are Sura Yaseen (which festoons the entrance gate) and Ayat-ul-Kursi, the throne verse. Of the two, Ayat-ul-Kursi is the more popular. Many Muslims wear it in their amulets. I have one in bidri and silver on my wall. I got a gold medallion from Tehran which my daughter, Mala, and then her daughter, Naina, wore in their necklaces while taking their examinations. Neither knew what it meant but felt reassured because their Muslim friends told them it was very powerful. It was as follows:

There is no God, but Allah, the living, the self-subsisting, the eternal. No slumber or sleep can seize Him. His are all the things in heaven and on earth. Who can intercede in His presence except as He permits? He knows the past, the present and the future. He cares equally for all. He in his knowledge grades his creations. His kingdom extends over the heaven and the earth. He is the guardian, He is the preserver. He is the highest. He is Supreme.

Pervades the universe. He is not born,

Nor does He die to be born again.

By His grace shalt thou worship Him.

Before time itself There was truth.

When time began to run its course He was the truth.

Even now, He is the truth

And

 Evermore shall truth prevail.

Not by thought alone,

Can He be known

Though one think,

A hundred thousand times;

Not in solemn silence

Not in deep meditation.

Though fasting yields an abundance of virtue

It cannot appease the hunger for truth.

No, by none of these,

Nor by a hundred thousand other devices,

Can God be reached.

How then shall the Truth be known?

How the veil of false illusion torn?

O Nanak, thus runneth the writ divine,

The righteous path-let it be Thine.

 

I am far from being a devout Sikh. But the first thing that I did when I set out to write about the religion and history of the Sikhs was to translate the Japjee, the Sikh's morning prayer. It was the earliest translation of the morning prayer rendered by a Sikh to be published abroad. Even while working on the translation, my literary inspiration was the Bible whose language I believe is most suited for the translation of scriptures of other religions.

There is one God.

He is the supreme truth.

He, The Creator.

Is without fear and without hate.

He, The Omnipresent,

 

No doubt, it is the simplest vocabulary, unambiguous and well-worded. I know many other passages in the Koran which read as well but I have not understood why the throne verse is endowed with more power than the others.

The importance of the Japjee for the Sikhs cannot be overstated. Besides being the morning prayer to be recited at amritvela (the pre-dawn ambrosial hour), it forms the opening statement of the Sikhs' scripture, the Granth Sahib, and is regarded as the essence of Sikh theology.

We are not certain about the time when it was composed but inner evidence points to the conclusion that it was in the later years of the Guru's life and he took several days to finalize it.

 

 

 

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It is the only piece in the Granth Sahib that can be read as one sustained piece where the Guru spells out his vision of God as the ultimate, timeless and truth and the path a seeker must take in order to achieve salvation. He was evidently inspired by the Upanishads: many theologians subscribe to the view that Sikhism is the essence of Vedanta.

The Japjee is the only part of the Granth Sahib that is meant to be recited, preferably in silent meditation and not set to the ragas of classical music like the other nearly 6,000 hymns of the Granth Sahib. The compiler, the fifth guru, Arjan, gave it the first place as it contained everything that is cardinal to Sikhism.

The founder of Sikhism, Guru Nanak, was born in 1469 to Hindu parents in a village north-west of Lahore, now in Pakistan. He was a wayward child who spent a lot of time talking to itinerant holymen. In his mid-twenties he left home with a Muslim family retainer and minstrel. They visited Hindu places of pilgrimage along the Ganges, went south to Sri Lanka and then west to Mecca and Medina. Nanak carried a notebook in which he wrote hymns in praise of God and set down his dialogues with men of religious learning.

There are not many references to historical events in Nanak's writings, but he does mention the invasion of northern India by the Mogul conqueror Babar in 1526 and the havoc it caused. Nanak was imprisoned for some time. He acquired a sizable following among both Hindus and Muslims. When he died in 1539 there was a dispute among his followers: the Muslims wanted to bury him because they thought he was one of them; the Hindus wanted to cremate him in the belief that he remained a Hindu to the end.

 

Nanak's teachings were a blend of Hinduism and Islam. He rejected Hindu polytheism and idol worship and accepted Islamic monotheism. He rejected the Hindu caste system and asceticism. `Be in .the world but not worldly,' he said. He emphasized the duty to work and earn a living.

It is clear that Nanak wished to set up a community apart from Hindus and Muslims. He appointed his closest disciple as the second guru, and the second guru appointed his closest disciple to be the third. Thereafter succession remained restricted to one family. The fourth guru founded the city of Amritsar in 1574. His son, Guru Arjan, raised the Harimandir (the temple of God) in the city. Later rebuilt in marble and covered with gold leaf, it became the Sikhs' most important place of pilgrimage.

 

Guru Arjan complied the Granth Sahib, the sacred scripture of the Sikhs. It comprises more than 6,000 hymns, all meant to be sung to the tune of the different ragas of Indian classical music. Besides presenting the writings of the gurus, it includes the compositions of Hindu and Muslim saints.

By Guru Arjan's time the Sikhs had become a sizable community, which alarmed the Muslim rulers. Arjan was summoned to Lahore where, after days of torture, he died. The same fate met the ninth guru, who was arrested, brought to Delhi and executed in 1675.

His only son, Gobind Rai, took up arms in defence of the community. `Where all other means have failed, it is righteous to draw the sword out of its scabbard,' he wrote to the Mogul emperor. He called the Sikhs to gather at Anandpur and baptized five into a new fraternity called the Khalsa, or the pure. They vowed never to cut their hair or beards and always to carry a sword. He gave them a common surname-Singh, or Lion-and changed his own name to Gobind Singh.

 

Gobind Singh fought Hindu rajas and Muslim Mogul armies. He lost all four of his sons and was assassinated by two of his Muslim retainers. The Punjabi peasantry eventually rose and ousted the Muslim rule in northern India. This paved the way for a Sikh kingdom under Ranjit Singh, who ruled over Punjab until 1839.

The Sikh history is a long saga of bloody conflicts with the Muslims. When the British partitioned the region, almost half the Sikh population found itself in Pakistan. The Muslims drove

 

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them into India, killing hundreds of thousands. In their turn, the Sikhs drove the Muslims out of towns and villages in northern India with as much slaughter. How ironic that Sikhs should be confused with Muslims in the aftermath of 9/11!

 

Having spent the best part of my life working on Sikh history and translating selected passages of the Gurbani, I felt I owed it to myself to read the Granth Sahib. Many questions rose in my mind. Knowing the bigoted, unintelligent approach of the self­appointed custodians of matters scriptural I will not start a public debate. But there are some historical and linguistic aspects of the Gurbani that need elucidation. To start with, I would like scholars to ~ompare the hymns of Kabir and Namdeo as they appear in the Granth Sahib with those in Hindi and Marathi. How did they travel from Varanasi and Maharashtra to Amritsar where the fifth Sikh Guru, Arjan, compiled the scriptures? Kabir's dohas in Hindi are different from his language in the Granth Sahib. How could he have composed the acrostics based on Gurumukhi at a time when the alphabet had yet to be finalized?

 

The case of Namdeo's baani is equally puzzling. I recall the late P.N. Oak, then secretary to the information and broadcasting ministry, asking me to give him Namdeo's baani in the Granth Sahib. Oak was a Maharashtrian studying the writings of Maharashtrian saint-poets. He went through the material and said: `It is Namdeo but the vocabulary is different.' Did Guru Arjan rewrite both Kabir's and Namdeo's works before incorporating them in his compilation?

 

That reminds me of another work whose origin still intrigues me. Some years ago I translated Bapu Gandhi's favourite hymn, `Vaishnav jan to tainay kahiye', said to be the compilation of Narsi Mehta who lived in the nineteenth century. When my translation was published, Swaran Singh, the editor of the Sikh Review in Calcutta, drew my attention to one of Guru Arjan's hymns on which Narsi Mehta's was based word for word. It could not have been a mere coincidence that Mehta had the same message for humanity that the Guru gave almost three centuries earlier.

 

       There are things in our scriptures which we accept as the gospel truth without ever questioning their veracity. Two such truisms are `the truth always triumphs' (Satyameva Jayate) and `honesty is the best policy'. There are good reasons for accepting them at face value but when I begin to ponder over them, I begin to wonder how much of it is wishful make-believe and how much of it proven reality. I concede that truth should always prevail and honesty should be the best policy, but is it, in fact, so?

     The scriptures answer the question in the affirmative. `Great is Truth, and mighty above all things,' says the Bible (Apocrypha 4:41). It might be recalled that the words are taken from Esdras, which tells the story of King Darius of Persia who asked three young Jewish scholars: what was the strongest thing in the world? The first one replied that it was wine, the second said the king was the strongest, the third said women were strongest and added a postscript: `But above all things, truth beareth away the victory.' It became an article of faith, its Latin form being `Magna est veritas, et praevalebit (Great is truth and it prevails)'. Its shortened form MVP was often used as a motto on the flags and shields of countries claiming that they were fighting for the truth.

Guru Nanak equated truth with God. So did Mahatma Gandhi. Nanak put truthful conduct on an even higher pedestal:

Sachhon orey sab ko Osper sachh aachaar.

(Truth above all Above truth, truthful conduct.)

       Gandhi went along with the guru in as much as he also made truthful conduct the central principle of his life. It should be evident that regarding honesty to be the best policy is a part and parcel of his concept of truthful conduct. `To think good thoughts is one thing, to act upon them is another,' he wrote.

So convinced are we with such truisms that we also believe that anyone who transgresses the moral code pays a heavy price.  

  Haraam ki karnaayi kabhi hazam nahin hoti (what is earned illicitly can never be digested).

 

 

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      As a matter of fact we all know a lot of people who live very well with illicit earnings and do not have problems with their digestion. They also do not suffer from insomnia-sleeplessness. I know a few contemporaries who lied about their educational achievements, claimed that they had a first or higher second division, when actually they had thirds, did well in their interviews, landed good jobs and retired on fat pensions. No indigestion, no insomnia, they lived in good health into their eighties, respected by those not aware of the untruthful beginnings and envied by those who did. We have innumerable cases of wanton murders and deaths caused by drunken drivers where the culprits have got away by bribing eyewitnesses to retract their statements and tell lies under oath. Now turn your critical eye on your own lawmakers-MPs and MLAs. How many of them are `tainted' (the word includes cheating, incitement to violence and murder)? They may not all be respected but their success in life cannot be denied. So what exactly does Satyameva Jayate mean?

 

 According to our ancient scriptures, both Hindu and Sikh, krodh (anger) is as serious a shortcoming as kama (lust), lobh (greed), inch (self-love) and ahankaar (arrogance). They exhort us to overcome them in order to achieve moksha (salvation). They do not tell us how to go about getting the better of them. As far as anger is concerned, people have their own formulae: `when roused to anger, count to ten before answering' or `swallow the insult and keep your mouth shut'. There is no doubt that a person who loses his cool loses the argument. Another school of thought is that it is better to let off steam and get it over with because if you contain your anger, your blood pressure will rise and you may get peptic ulcers. I have evolved my own formula to get anger out of my system. I say nothing to the person who has insulted or snubbed me but when I narrate the incident to my friends later, I let loose a torrent of the choicest abuse in Punjabi and Hindustani-I have a large repertoire of filthy words in four languages-and purge myself of my anger. I even feel exhilarated for having scored over my traducer by saying nothing to him or her and I cleanse my system by letting out all the accumulated venom in front of third parties who thoroughly enjoy my outburst.

 

For many years, when I was young and believed in resolutions to improve myself, my New Year's resolve used to be to not run people down behind their backs. I was in the habit of doing so and hated myself afterwards. Whatever I said somehow reached the ears of the person I had maligned. When confronted by him or her, I had to deny what I had said and had reason to feeflow in my self-estimation. I was able to check myself from indulging in vilifying people behind their backs for a few days. I resumed the bad habit, but somehow it got less and less on its own. I came to realize the truth of Guru Nanak's admonition:

Nanak, phikka boleeai

Tan manplukka hoi.

(Nanak, if you speak ill of the people Your body and mind will fall sick.)

The Guru's words can also be interpreted as applying when saying nasty things to people to their faces. Many people make it a point to say hurtful things to others and justify their doing so. When in return they get more than they gave, there is a slanging match in which both participants get hurt while others enjoy the spectacle.

As for forgiveness, all religions counsel it. My father had a short temper; his father was even more ill-tempered. His pet word for me was bharwah (pimp) and since I went to a school that had lady teachers, rann mureed-disciple of a slut. My father never used bad language but being overworked, he was impatient and inclined to snap at everyone. We were terrified of him and kept out of his way as much as we could. In the later years of his life, he mellowed a great deal and I looked forward to joining him in the evenings for a sundowner. However, I could never get over my allergy towards people with short tempers. Incidents of people

 

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snubbing me still rankle in my mind. I have no forgiveness. Once somebody loses his temper with me, I write them off forever and no amount of their trying to make amends makes any difference in my attitude towards them.

In his own way Guru Nanak was also regarded as the dispeller of the darkness of ignorance, superstition and hate and the prophet of light and understanding among people.

The theologian, Bhai Gurdas, described Nanak's achievements in the following words:

The true guru, Nanak, was then born;

Fog and mist evaporated

And light shone on the earth.

As the rising sun dispels the dark and outshines the stars,

As flee the herd of deer when a lion roars

Without pause, without turning back for assurance.

So fled evil from the world.

Nanak believed that the ideal was to achieve godliness while performing one's worldly tasks-raaj meinjog, that is, without renouncing the world or turning into an ascetic.

exaggerated respect to the sanctity of the kitchen: who may enter it, who may cook, what kind of food is pure and what is polluted. He wrote:

There are worms in wood and cowdung cakes,

There is life in the corn ground into bread.

There is life in the water which makes it green.

How then be clean when impurity is over the kitchen spread?

Impurity of the heart is greed, of tongue, untruth,

Impurity of the eye is coveting another's wealth, his wife, her comeliness.            - Impurity of the ears is listening to calumny.

 

He believed in the cleansing and purging qualities of prayer, naam. In the morning prayer, Japjee, he wrote:

As hands or feet besmirched with slime, Water washes white; As garments dark with grime, Rinsed with soap are made light; So when sin soils the soul The Name alone shall make it whole; Words do not the saint or sinner make. Action alone is written in the book of fate. What we sow that alone we take; O Nanak, be saved or forever transmigrate.

Religion lieth not in the patched coat the Yogi wears,

Not in the staff he bears,

Nor in the ashes on his body.

Religion lieth not in rings in the ears,

Not in a shaven head,

If thou must the path of true religion see

Among the world's impurities, be of impurities free.

And again:

The lotus W the water is not wet Nor the water-fowl in the stream. If a man would live, but by the world untouched, Meditate and repeat the name of the lord Supreme.

Nanak preached a crusade against meaningless superstition. During his time (and even today) the higher castes attached

Nanak equated God with truth. Truth, is not an academic concept but something that has to become a principle of living. Guru Nanak was more conscious of nature than the gurus who succeeded him. His baramasi has some beautiful descriptions of natural phenomenon. The chirping of sparrows at the break of dawn, the drone of cicadas in forest glades and, of course, black clouds, thunder, lightning and rain during the monsoon. I give one example: Mori runjhun laya, bhainey savan aya (Raga Vadhans):

Sweet sound of water gurgling down the water-spout (The peacock's shrill, exultant cry)

Sister, it's Savan, the month of rain! Beloved-thine eyes bind me in a spell (they pierce through me like daggers) They fill my heart with greed and longing;

 

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For one glimpse of thee I'll give my life For thy name may I be a sacrifice.

When thou art mine, my heart fills with pride, What can I be proud of if thou art not with me? Woman, smash thy bangles on thy bedstead Break thy arms, break the arms of thy couch; Thy adornments hold no charms

The Lord is in another's arms.

The Lord liked not thy bangle-seller Thy bracelets and glass bangles.

He doth spurn

Arms that do not the Lord's neck embrace With anguish shall forever burn.

All my friends have gone to their lovers I feel wretched, whose door shall I seek? Friends, of proven virtue and fair am I Lord, does nothing about me find favour in Thine eyes? I plaited my tresses,

With vermilion daubed the parting of my hair And went to Him

But with me He would not lie.

My heart is grief-stricken, I could die. I wept, and the world wept with me. Even birds of the forest cried,

Only my soul torn out of my body shed not a tear,

Nay, my soul which separated me from my beloved shed not a tear

In a dream He came to me (I woke), and He was gone.

Prabhat pheris-going around singing in the early hours of the dawn-are customary at Hindu and Sikh religious festivals in the plains of northern India. Behind the block of flats where I live, there is a small gurdwara. A week or so before the birth anniversary of Guru Nanak (this year it was on 11 November) a loud cracker is exploded in the gurdwara courtyard at 4 a.m. We are rudely shaken out of our slumber; most doze off again. About a dozen men and women assemble in the gurdwara and form a procession. The only music accompaniments are the chimta

and the dholak (drum). They go around the block singing Bhai Gurdas's eulogy, `Satgur Nanak pragatya, mitti dhund jag chaanan hoya (The true Guru Nanak made his appearance; dust and mist evaporated from the face of the earth).' This is followed by some hymns composed by the guru. The singing is not very melodious, but it is a manifestation of the singers's faith in their guru.

One prabhat pheri that still haunts me was the one I heard on my first day in Santiniketan in 1933. The monsoon was in full swing. From the window of the train to Bolpur, it was a vast expanse of water on both sides. `Shamudro-it is like the 'sea,' remarked the ticket collector, who happened to be the only other person in the compartment. The Bolpur railway station looked drenched and desolate. I asked the station master how I could get to Santiniketan. `Take a jutka,' he said.

I did not know what a jutka was. I found a small bullock­cart with a thatched roof, asked the owner if he could take me to Santiniketan. `Baitho,' he replied, `do taaka' (two rupees). I hopped in. We drove through a flooded countryside.

He dropped me off at the office. I was expected. I signed the entry register and was conducted to a room I was to share with a Buddhist bhikhu from Sri Lanka. Then I was taken to the dining hall where I had a plateful of rice and maachher jhole (fish curry). I got to my room and made acquaintance with my roommate. The room had no furniture of any kind. The bhikhu had a hurricane lamp by his pillow and read late into the night. I spread my bedding roll at the other end of the room. I had never slept on a hard cement floor. I was tired and dozed off before Bhikhu Manjushri blew out the hurricane lantern.

I slept fitfully, uncertain about what I had let myself in for. I must have fallen asleep because I began to dream. I heard the voices of an angelic choir at a distance, coming towards me. I realized I was not dreaming; it was for real. I groped my way in the dark and opened the door. The soft moonlight of the waning moon filtered through the mist of a gentle drizzle. I saw a dozen boys and girls dressed in white, carrying lanterns and

 

 

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candles, walking in a procession, singing as they went around the campus. Later I learnt it was the varsha mangal (the welcoming of the rains).

I envy other people's faith and religious fervour. I regret I will forever remain an outsider, sceptical of all pilgrimages save the one in one's own heart.

To quote Fitzgerald:

... Pilgrim, pilgrimage and Road

was but myself towards myself, and your Arrival but myself, at my door.

Came, you lost atoms to your Centre draw

Rays that have wandered into darkness wide Return, and back into your Sun subside.

In the days left to me, I have come to the conclusion that I've been an imposter all my life. I have written several books on the religion and the history of the Sikhs, published translations of selected hymns from the Gurbani without having ever read the Guru Granth Sahib from cover to cover. Nevertheless when people refer to me as a scholar of Sikhism, I protest so mildly that they think I am being modest.

I am now trying to fill up the gaps in my knowledge by devoting my entire summer vacation to reading the Guru Granth Sahib in the morning; I devote my afternoons to reading Urdu poets, from Meer and Ghalib to Faiz Ahmed Faiz, Kaifi Azmi, Javed Akhtar and others. So the mornings are devoted to reading about praises of the Lord, the importance of the Guru for spiritual elevation, the need to conquer lust, anger, desire and arrogance by squashing one's ego and renouncing wine and women. The afternoons are spent reading about the joy that drinking liquor, making love to women and boys with rosy cheeks and rounded bottoms provide.

In short, it is the temple in the a.m., the tavern after p.m. I have become a split personality. By the time my vacation is over, I would have finished my first complete reading of the

Guru Granth Sahib. I would have also gone through the diwans of Urdu classical masters and modern poets. I fear 1 will end up as a schizophrenic in need of psychiatric help.

I comfort myself by believing that Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib must have faced the same dilemma. His Muslim friends who followed the Shariat law strictly must have chided him for not saying his prayers regularly and for his indulgence in wine. A man who had known want, woe and fear, a man who begged for a pittance from the king, I wonder, how he could decide so quickly to change his ways and give up drinking.

To wit:

So have I lived and passed my days

How can I bring myself to say that God exists.

God the Bounteous Giver,

God the Beneficent?

For God's possible for those who lead happy sheltered lives,

And know God's grace and His loving care.

Sauda, another great master of Urdu verse, was even more outspoken about the joys of drinking:

Saaqi gayee bahaar,

dil mein rahee havas

Too minnaton sayjaam dey

And main kahoon kay `bas'.

(O Saki, gone is the spring of youth, Remains but one regret in this heart of mine That thou has never pressed the goblet in my hand, And I protested `I've had enough wine'.)

       By the time the day is over and I turn indoors for my sundowner, I am a thoroughly confused person. I pour myself a hefty slug of Scotch 'n' soda and put on my cassette player. 1 refrain from putting on kirtan in respect for people who would consider it a sacrilege and instead listen to Bach, Beethoven or Mozart.

      I come to the comforting conclusion: `imposter' is too strong a word for me, but `humbug' fits me to a tee.

 

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